“We make ourselves miserable by first closing ourselves off from reality and then collecting this and that in an attempt to make ourselves happy by possessing happiness. But happiness is not something I have, it is something I myself want to be. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over my body.”
-Roger J. Corless, Vision of Buddhism: the Space Under the Tree
After over a year and a half, I continue to grapple with my pattern of accumulating material possessions. It truly is a fixation, bordering on compulsion; shopping is habit-forming. In my former life I got my shopping fix just as easily at a thrift store as at Nordstrom. It wasn’t about the cost of the item, which is probably the only thing that kept me from bankruptcy. Well, maybe it wasn’t quite that bad. But I used to jokingly say that I was one psychological mishap away from being a hoarder.
Before my new life I used shopping as a form of recreation and as a de-stressor. My life is a lot less stressful now than when I was a litigator in medical malpractice, but it is hard to shake the routine of shopping as entertainment.
You would think that after facing all of my worldly possessions in the estate sale, I would have learned my lesson. I had over 200 vintage handbags and 150 pairs of shoes. I owned 150 tiki mugs and dinner services for 12 in four patterns. I had seven Christmas trees with corresponding themed ornaments. I had enough booze to stock a TGI Fridays for a solid month. Did I learn my lesson? Not quite. Not yet. But, I’m working on it.
Part of my continuing struggle has to do with the way I shopped on vacation. For me, buying a Christmas ornament or a T-shirt was my way of remembering the holiday. But now, I am not on vacation. If I bought a trinket at each place I visit, the rig would be overflowing with junk. I am trying to remind myself that a photo or memory is just, if not more, valuable than a souvenir.
Also part of the problem, on an almost daily basis I exit through the gift shop after touring an historic site or museum or a restaurant – such enticements! Occasionally I will scratch the shopping itch by purchasing something for a friend or family member, but that could get expensive quickly if I did that for everyone I knew.
The size of my living environment is helping to curb my shopping craving, which is one of the major reasons I made this transition in the first place. There really is only so much you can pack into a 320 square-foot space (and that’s with the slides open!). But of course, I have found a way around space requirements – jewelry! Small, abundant, cheap or expensive, jewelry. Which is really ridiculous, if you think about it. First, I sold more jewelry in the estate sale that I could ever hope to wear in a lifetime. Second, for the fancy and expensive stuff, there are only so many opportunities on the road to wear it.
Which brings me to my moratorium. In August of this year, I made a pact with myself to make no purchases of jewelry, shoes, or handbags for the rest of the year. I would give myself a C+ on the follow-through; there were all of those sandals on sale in Wisconsin at the end of the season, and I’m on my way to Florida for the holidays. And, I just couldn’t pass up those Calder mobile earrings. Oh, and there was that pair I bought at the Biltmore in Asheville. But I digress …
Do you struggle with stuff? Are you like me? Here’s a little reminder list I compiled for myself, specifically tailored to the RV life. Some of the list is good for sticks and bricks too! I hope you find it useful if you’re struggling too.
STUFF: TAMMY’S TOP TEN TENETS
1. If you must empty the shower before you can get in it, you have too much stuff.
2. If you’re not donating a box or a bag to Salvation Army, Goodwill, or the charity of your choice at least six times a year, you have too much stuff.
3. If you’re buying bins and organizers and storage gizmos for your stuff, you have too much stuff. (Why buy more stuff to deal with stuff?)
4. If you buy new clothing or shoes and don’t rotate something out to the charity bag as soon as you get home with your new purchases, you have too much stuff.
5. If you have enough dishes and glasses to serve 12 people dinner, you have too much stuff.
6. If you “store” so many things in the sink or on your bed, sofa, or dinette during transit that you are not be able to use them, you have too much stuff.
7. If it takes more than a half hour to break down the inside because you’re displaying trinkets and tchotchkes and dust collectors, you have too much stuff.
8. If the only empty spot in your toad while towing it is the driver’s seat, you have too much stuff.
9. If using the microwave or oven requires removing stored inedible objects, you have too much stuff.
10. If the slides in your basement compartments won’t slide because they are full from top to bottom and side to side, you have too much stuff.
Are there any other tenets you’d like to add?
This Post Has 14 Comments
Greetings Tammy! I too am trying to “simplify” – including giving away 800+ DVDs, which I never watched. Not to worry, I kept my core favorites. People kept asking “why don’t you sell them? Even for $__ (fill in digit)” but I know myself well enough to see that delay would likely snuff out the forward momentum. Next up: flea market table at Eagles (“Drinking for Charity Since 1898”) to benefit charity. We miss you here – safe travels!
I miss you guys, too! Awww man, I’m missing a flea market???? Re: DVDs, I kept about 50 out of 400 and put them in a DVD zip up case, getting rid of the individual DVD boxes. Lots of movies in a small amount of space! I store them behind the television and pull one out to watch when there’s no connectivity or satellite in the rig.
If something comes in. Something must go.
Loved this post!
I have to be aware of how many items I have in abundance. This helps me say no to myself.
One trick for clothing is to turn all the hangers hooks forward so as you hang things back you see what part of your wardrobe you actually wear.
At the end of the season or year, donate those items.
We know exactly what you are talking about Tammy. Gerry and I have collected so much stuff over the years we now have a warehouse full. Sometimes I rotate things in and out. That being said we are trying to get rid of some stuff. But there still is this gravitational pull when I drive by any thrift store. I am being much more selective now with my purchases. One thing i do now is hold the item in my hand clutching it to my chest, I walk around the store looking for other treasures and if it bonds with me during our walk it goes home otherwise it gets put back on the shelf. Most often it goes back. I’m trying very hard. I really admire everything you are doing. Keep up the blog, i really enjoy reading it. Susan(piled high in crap up here in Canada)
If you have to downsize an aging parent/relative you will quickly realize that we need to weed our own “garden” of STUFF! Keep reminding yourself that one day someone will be downsizing or selling our own things and that is NO picnic!
So true-it’s an uphill battle to get rid of stuff but then the other part of the battle is wanting to buy things you think you “need”. It’s a day to day fight-but we can do it! Can’t we????
Thanks for your emails-living my dream of traveling through you!!
Chrissi
Progress. Give yourself a,pat on the back. C+ is respectable for us strugglers. Just aspiring to be where you are has helped me improve. Keep up the good fight.
I really identify with this post! I love hats and sandals. I barely resist most of the time. I have tried to manage the gift shops by buying retro postcards and pins. The struggle is real. I needeed this post! Thanks
Hi Tammy,
Thank you for this post. It could not have come at a better time. We have sold our house and have moved into our 38 ft motor home. We have moved stuff that I thought I would need into the MH. I am still working and hope to get on the road next year. I told my husband that I need to purge the stuff in the MH because even though there is a place for everything – There is still just too much stuff. Do I really need a dozen towels for two people? Thanks for writing your blog. Hope to see you on down the road!
LOL on #1, but I know, the struggle is real for some! I was fortunate to not get the shopping gene, but still had a lot of stuff. Several things have contributed to my turning away from stuff, per se, and becoming more minimalist, but riding a motorcycle for travel for many years was primary! You can only take so much and then you realize you don’t need much!
You can’t really tell from the size of our rig (43′) but we have really next to nothing in it. We use the long basement slider for our riding clothes. That’s all. 🙂
Anyway, for a little background, I wrote this post 3 years ago when moving my mom to live near me: https://wordpress.com/post/curvyroads.info/79
It might provide a little insight on this topic from my experience.
If I haven’t used an item in more than 1 year, I get rid of it.
Having said that, after moving into my parents mobile home, I too started to figure out what I needed and why I wanted it if I didn’t need it. Over the last few years I have emptied cupboards of stuff and still find I have dishware and cookware I haven’t used in ages. I keep thinking I’ll have a large gathering of friends and will need them, even though I have a small kitchen that wouldn’t accommodate the party I envision! And so I just move items around waiting for the moment I finally say good-by to that old pot or platter.
Loved this post! I live in a 5th wheel with my husband and cat. We try to just have 4 of everything. 4 plates, 4 cups, 4 towels etc etc. It’s really working for us. If we entertain we buy paper goods. I used to live in a large house with 12++ of everything. It’s kind of fun to keep everything down to our Rule of Four!
Tammy, I too struggle with STUFF. But, I have found some ways around it and maybe something that may help you. I remember first seeing the pictures of the abode when you were selling it (which is how I landed here and have been living vicariously through your travels), I like many others said “What a fabulous place, where does she hide her STUFF?” Anyhoo, I too am a vintage enthusiast, and it is hard for me to pass up or give up a great vintage piece. So, I stumbled upon “The Magical Art of Tiding Up,” (I may not have the title perfect) by Marie Kondo. She has a great method for folks like us and she is soooooo different than any other method. I highly recommend it. I got rid of over 80% of my wardrobe and I don’t miss it. I got rid of a lot of other stuff that was just making me miserable and I feel so much better. I am still in the process, but it is working. I had to read the book twice because I kind of stopped for a while. She also has another book called “Spark Joy”, which is a master class on the first one and sort of a fine tuning. Read the books cover to cover. It is a pleasant read and you will also learn some serious space saving techniques. I hope this helps. Also, I have resorted to collect on Pinterest, which takes up NO space.